


illiterate

by revoleotion



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, autistic Licht Jekylland Todoroki, piano feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:33:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29819466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/revoleotion/pseuds/revoleotion
Summary: “How is it that I am the same person that won all those awards?” Licht asks. “It feels like it happened to someone else.”
Relationships: Hyde | Lawless/Licht Jekylland Todoroki
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	illiterate

“There’s one thing I don’t understand,” Licht says. He’s been staring at the sheets for half an hour now, and for some reason the blank ones, the empty ones, the ones that haven’t been marked with notes and dates and finger positions are the ones that hurt the most. He can’t imagine the person that used to look at them. He can’t imagine that this was once him. Licht traces his old teacher’s handwriting and blinks away a stinging sensation in his eyes, not quite tears yet. 

He looks up. His Servamp is leaning against the couch, making a point of not looking at him while definitely observing his every move. 

“How is it that I am the same person that won all those awards?” Licht asks. “It feels like it happened to someone else.” 

He glances down on his fingers, the trimmed nails, the clear nail polish, the bruised and bloody skin around them. 

“ _I_ _t’s like looking at a language I once knew how to speak_ ,” Hyde says quietly and meets Licht's confused eyes with a smile. “Read that in a poetry collection once.”

“You wrote that,” Licht mumbles absentmindedly. “You showed me before my last time at _Jugend Musiziert_. My legs were shaking so bad that I was afraid that I couldn’t use the pedals. You pushed down a notebook onto my lap to help me calm down. I told you that it’s the worst poetry I’ve ever read in my life.” 

Hyde lifts an eyebrow and goes to push up his glasses just to notice that he’s not wearing them. He frowns slightly, fumbles with his glasses chain around his neck and finally manages to grab them. Licht watches him while he cleans them with his shirt. Hyde’s movements are so familiar that it hurts. Licht usually doesn’t look at people. He doesn’t like paying attention, he doesn’t like to see. It’s all too much sometimes, even his own parents. He has stopped feeling guilty about faces he can’t remember. 

But he knows Hyde like he's a part of his own body. Maybe that’s how a Servamp and Eve relationship works. Licht knows the routine Hyde falls into when he cleans his glasses. He knows where Hyde first starts when brushing his teeth. He knows the way Hyde pours his hot water over his teabag, he knows the little concentrated hiss he will make when the teabag threatens to slide into the water, he knows the proud grin he will put on when he manages to catch the little string with his thumb. Hyde treats making tea like an art form he’s particularly good at. 

Licht tears his eyes away and looks at the notes again. 

“ _Engelchen_?” Hyde asks. “That was you, wasn’t it?”

“I wish it wasn’t.” 

Licht sinks down on the piano seat and lets his leg hover above the pedal. It’s shaking, less because he’s nervous, more because he’s scared, the kind of fear that paralyzes you. Back then he had felt like he could lose everything if he failed. It’s just now that he realizes he already lost. He cannot tell when it happened. All he knows is that he’s crying about a lost battle. 

He gets up. Walks over to Hyde. Traces his Servampʼs face because he knows it by heart just like the songs he used to play.

**Author's Note:**

> I thought this was too short to post but I really like it, so you're getting it anyway. Also, I'm sorry?
> 
> additional notes:
> 
> Jugend Musiziert: A German music contest I participated in two times. I'm not sure if it's a thing in Austria too but maybe Licht just went to Germany to do it. I said so. 
> 
> Engelchen: The German version of Hyde's nickname for Licht.


End file.
